He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
only if we run a train.
done.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
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You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
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You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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