why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
