And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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