My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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