puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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