no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Panties = found
Randomize
