i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
mondays should just be called national damage control day
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
