We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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