He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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