Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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