He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
