i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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