I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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