Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
