My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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