just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
one might say we're banned from that church
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
