so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize