She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize