Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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