peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
