Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
