ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
