I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
