my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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