i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i already hear my dad disowning me
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize