I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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