So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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