somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
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Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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