Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
