i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
