Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
