one word: firstdatebathroomanal
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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