I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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