My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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