soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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