does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I just found a bag of teeth...
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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