she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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