I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
