she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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