actually, I'm a sock model
I just cut my nipple shaving
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
