the new term for farting is butt boxing.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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