I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
