Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it