If i come over, it means nothing
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
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You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting