Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.