Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
