"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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