i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
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Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
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I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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