That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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