We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
