im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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