Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
