Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
