I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Randomize
