I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
