its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
