note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I'm both gender and math confused
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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