Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
