This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
How's work?
Spinning.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
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