at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
