How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
