I want you more than these girls want KFC
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
